Four reasons NOT to be the "cool" parent

Some parents start to think that being cool is a necessity for good parenting. A lot of dads and moms try to be their kids’ friends and ensure their kids are never uncomfortable or feel pain. They believe if they’re cool, their kids are going to like them -- and that that’s the definition of good parenting.

Unfortunately, this is setting their kids up for hard lessons and potential failure in the future. Here are four reasons NOT to be the cool parent.

1) Your Kids Don’t Need You to be Cool

When kids hit the preteen and teen years, everyone around them is making every possible effort just to be “cool.” Your kids see people pretending to be who they aren’t and when parents do this just to be cool, it sends the wrong message to their kids. Your kids need a role model. Know who you are and be confident in it.

2) Your Coolness Doesn’t Add What You Think It Does

Many parents think if they can be the cool parent, it will help their kids. They try being cool by giving their kids whatever they want and never telling them no. They think kids need freedom and comfort. But what kids need is structure. Structure allows kids to feel a sense of belonging and safety. Kids need someone to guide them; to let them know when they’re heading in the wrong direction. Be a parent who sets good boundaries for your kids.

3) Your Effort To Be Cool Is Actually Hurting Your Kids

Kids need their parents to parent and this means you’re not going to be cool with them all the time. Kids need parents who will love them unconditionally, who aren’t afraid to push back when they’re making mistakes. That won’t be seen as cool in the moment, but if you do it right, one day, your kids are going to thank you for not being cool! Again, this means being comfortable in your role as a parent and often, it also means showing tough love.

4) Your Kids Need A Great Parent

Your role is unlike any other role in the universe for your kids. It’s unlike any other relationship your kids will ever have. You are a provider, protector, advocate, guide, mentor, discipliner, and more. Your kids don’t need a great friend who’s cool all the time. They need a great parent to simply be their mom and dad. From birth to age 10, our kids are going to think we’re amazing and can do nothing wrong! Once they get into those preteen years and older, we’re most likely going to be anything but cool to them. And that’s OK! Because hopefully, as you embrace your role as a mom/dad, one day, when your kids are older and start having their own kids, you then can become the cool grandparent and friend.